Ice breakers can be useful

So you are perusing the site, a picture catches your eye and you stop to read the bio. Sounds good and so you send along a wink, nudge or some fake gift icon! So what am I suppose to do with that? I know that if I don't respond you move on but I don't want to waste my visit with a wink or fake gift. I want to know what you have to say, start a conversation or ask me some questions.

I got a post from a fellow the other day 3 lines long and the only thing on my screen was (hugs), (kiss), (hugs), (kiss) you get the picture. He called it flirting, I called it a waste of my time and frankly his as well because that went into the proverbial cyber trashcan!

Ask an intelligent question or use some kind of icebreaker that requires more than a yes or no answer. Assuming of course that you are looking for an intelligent person to respond, if not then perhaps the flirting will work for you.

Now I must go check my email ...

Stuck on the picture

I was searching around today on my online dating site and once again shaking my head at some of the pictures that I passed by.

It surprises me that people post pictures of themselves so far in the distance that I can't even tell if it is a man or a woman! How about the pictures taken with that really shitty web cam you own that distorts the face so much that it looks like something from a fun mirror at the circus. The head shot in shadows is also a good one and the side profile, what are you hiding? Have a friend snap up some relaxed photos of you, you do have friends right?

Today I spotted a picture that some fellow took with his mom and dad (I think that's who they were). Although I said earlier to post solo pics this one may be the exception! It may at least appear that he has a good relationship with his family and ergo at least the crappy baggage he will carry doesn't revolve around his growing up years. How's that for a huge leap?

Pictures I do like - full frontal face shots, show me the eyes and the smile. I am drawn by the smile and the eyes will tell me if he smiles alot or if this was a one time thing. There is nothing wrong with a relaxed full body shot as long as I can see the face.

Smile and say cheese!

What's in a story?

I know first hand how hard it is to write your story and not sound corny, needy or stupid. I have sat in front of this blank computer screen with nothing on my mind only to jot down some dumb dribble that I am horrified to read later. No wonder Bubba looked me up!

Having said that something is better than nothing - this is your third sales pitch. For you fishing boys think of your name as the rod going in the water (no sexual connotations intended), your picture was the hook and your story will reel them in.

This does not mean go all crazy and tell your lifes story, neither of us has that kind of time. Relate the story to who you are, what you believe in, maybe even your ambitions. For me I want to hear what makes you happy. I am a glass 1/2 full kind of girl and want the same from the people I meet.

Think in terms of what kind of person you are hoping to meet. what is important to you? Are you career focused and wanting to meet a strong, independant person? It is okay to put it out there - you are wasting my time too, if I am not what you want in a date. Look back at all the previous dates or encounters you have had what did you like what didn't you like. (Do not share your past dates and encounters in this venue)

just an aside off this topic - don't put your facebook page, twitter or other personality page out there for all to see if you are not congruent to your story. By this I mean don't tell me you are loving, considerate, thoughtful person in your story and on your (facebook) page you are dissing your fellow employees and telling everyone how your job is crap.

A picture says a thousand words ...

sometimes the only thing your picture says is your an idiot! Or better yet you are looking to match up with another idiot!! So remember these views are mine and may not be what every girl is thinking when she looks through those profile pictures.

When you took the picture of yourself with the girl what am I suppose to think? Is this your old girlfriend, wife or .... and the picture of you with the young girl - daughter or are you into young girls? How about a stand alone picture so the eye is not distracted by what ifs.

Love the pictures of bodies, the head has been cut off but what a great six pack! I am sure that body could go a few laps around the bedroom. Sorry not responding, I am afraid that your personal image is so important that you have neglected your charm and personality. I do believe that taking care of yourself is important and even says something about your character and I don't have to see a half naked body to get that.

And my favourite pics are from you boys posting pictures of your cars, boats, bikes and other toys what are you asking for or what message are you trying to send. My interpretations start at you are so ugly that the boat is a bribe or compromise. Are you so desperate that you would date a girl who shallowly chose you for your 69 T-bird - by the way it is the same girl that will get custody of your prize possesion when she dumps your sorry ass! Now perhaps you don't really own a boat, fancy car or bike and what the picture means is show me yours and we will see where things go from there!

What's in a name?

When choosing a name for an online dating profile, remember this is the first marketing tool we are using to sell ourselves. So guys when you choose a name like Bubba or Cooter you may see the humor in such a name but I am seeing a toothless, beergut that doesn't know his ABC's. Sorry Bubba and Cooter! Please don't name yourselves after famous people, just because someone said once that you look like the person - take it from the source they were drunk!

I know it is hard to sum ourselves up in a name and then when you do someone is already using it, that's when those numbers come in handy "lonely61389927483". I am kidding!

Here is a great example to a bad name "BC Babe", it is my name and although I am in BC - good, I passed "babe" 20 years ago. I have noticed that most guys use their real names and I do appreciate that, it does take the nasty visuals out of my mind.



*naturally all the opinions in my blog are mine so please consider the source when reading

...and so it begins, a brief introduction

First ever blog! I know very little about blogs but what a great place to scribe all those witty things I have been thinking and no one to share them with. That is not a "poor me" statement, just a fact that pertains to my subject!

Firstly why Sleepless in Salina? Well Sleepless in Seattle was already taken and that's a movie that must have rocked online dating to its feet. Sleepless no, not really - Salina, not from there either, but I would love to see Italy and how romantic is that? Okay truthfully romance has very little to do with it; country, architecture and wine - lots of wine!

This blog is about my experiences with online dating, my perspectives and perhaps why we are still online dating - instead of actually hooking up with someone I mean.

I am a 50 year old, never married, grandmother! I have not been in a relationship for over 15 years and it has been much longer since I dated ... oh how pathetic does that sound? Meeting people has changed some in the decades since I was "playing the field" and I found myself checking out the online dating sites. I first signed up 10 years ago, before I knew how to post a picture or even to find my way back to the site I had signed on for. I am not sure how many sites I signed on for in the past 10 years but upwards of 8 or more, most of which I no longer remember and none which send me emails reminding me that my one true love has looked me up.

I am not a cynic of on-line dating, in fact quite the opposite. I do know that on line dating can work and you can meet that special someone that "rocks your boat". After all my best friends', cousins', neighbor met the man of her dreams and they are now happily married!

I have so much more to say and I will save it for another post.